I trust my readers in the Holy Land to exercise the soundest Judgment in what pertains to Morals and Laws. The first of our society is a woman of ignoble nature, her name Dvora Unwaver. A wife and mother of eleven, I find no fault in her inclinations for motherhood; but it is her vicious Temper that undermines her maternal choices, and might bring ruination upon herself, her children, and her poor husband. Mrs. Unwaver, an indefatigable individual, earns a modest livelihood by dispensing treatments to other women, as well as a side Business, and whilst she is at home, attends to her children; her spouse is seldom present, often called for Duty to battle the barbarians. It is this last circumstance, if I may add, that has wholeheartedly possessed this otherwise slender figure, giving way to her Passions, and even worse, to her Selfish contrivances. Mrs. Unwaver, believe you must, took it upon herself to deal with the barbarous. And what can a mother of eleven do with regard to a national matter?
By the hand of her own undertaking, Mrs. Unwaver contrived the Cruelest of methods, depriving the barbarians of victuals on the table, of medical supplies, of vaccines, of tents, of blankets, of cooking gas, of fuel, of cigarettes, of Colombian coffee beans of 100 per cent Arabica quality, of fifth-generation Samsung Galaxy devices, of solar panels, and of any wares as to provide this Enthusiastic band of people with relief against the scorching sun and the dearth of jovial experiences. Mrs. Unwaver showed no Mercy for the misfortune of these hot-tempered savages. For her Desire to see her beloved spouse at home, and her children spared from a chance raid, superseded any trace of Humanity and Compassion. I believe to be correct in reporting that she posited her purpose a Sacrifice; that none of her actions are sought for her own sake, but that of the Good of society; this Plea, however, was directed at her own society, with her community, her family, her self, assured beneficiaries of her deed. And this deed, allow me to disclose, involved barricading the passage of scores of trucks transporting opulent supplies. The State has rightfully judged her behavior Egotistic and charged her with serious offenses, one count of terrorizing civilians and one count of disrupting the public order. Mrs. Unwaver is to appear before the court on Sunday, the 2nd of August, at eight o’clock in the morning.
Our next subject is of a similar dubious character but with less Evil in his heart; his muse is Avarice alone. This person, Lieutenant Rafael Mooch, has served his nation for many years. He has several brothers and sisters, all of whom earn their income as public servants. In his present post of the past four years, Lieutenant Mooch has fulfilled an important role in the military’s Coordinator of State Operations in the Territories; he is tasked with supplying the Impoverished with aid transported from across the globe by its admirably Affluent peoples. Our lieutenant, an industrious person, has learned a great deal of his agency’s inner workings, including the inclinations of the savages that were left wanting. This he decided to resolve by delivering flavored tobacco from the private sector, with the help of a handful of persons he had acquainted himself with over the years. When the Truth of this activity reached the public, he stated his purpose to serve the needs of those he was responsible for, having witnessed the Failure of the International Order to deliver provisions with the utmost efficiency that his Sympathies endeared. Lieutenant Mooch’s defense shall be probed in court; but even with evidence to support his claims, the pecuniary Gains discovered in his accounts are nevertheless a damning blot over his Innocence.
The last of our inquiries is reserved for our eminent and revered Prime Minister, Mr. Joseph Lordwell; the commoners nickname him “Lili.” Our Great Leader is widely known for his Prowess and Wisdom that stretch beyond any one geographic strip on Earth. He is without a doubt, a model for Morality in this day and age, where Expediency is the expanding governing Law of all the rest. It was under his leadership and instruction that the supplies were transported to the barbarians in the first place, out of great Care and astute Statesmanship; and he has done so legally, under all the prerequisite approvals of the State. As I walked the other day on King George Street in the capital, I ran into Mr. Moises Dutiful, who relayed to me, “Of course, Mr. Lordwell does not want to send the packages to the savages, but this makes his actions even Nobler.” Another man in my circle of acquaintances, a certain Mr. Jonathan Tribe, a devout constituent of Mr. Lordwell, upon discussing this matter with me last week, argued that the Prime Minister wants to send the packages, for he is wise enough to apprehend their connection to our General Interest. A correspondent from a competing newspaper, whom I shall not mention by name, repeatedly laments the flow of goods into the barbarians’ hands, but alleges some “Powerful Forces” on which to place the blame for the present situation, clearing Mr. Lordwell’s Heavy Conscience. In short, Mr. Lordwill wills and will not, depending on the explanations of his admirers, to deliver said aid. I wish him well on his future endeavors, for they coincide with the Common Good.
As to you, dear Reader, I hope this Letter has not been unworthy of your Time. I had planned to begin with an Account of my Life, to earn your Trust and Curiosity; but this urgent matter obliged me to postpone it until my next Issue.
—C.